You never got over the trauma of the sexual abuse.. You should seek councelling even now.. better late than never.. If you love your husband in all other ways, as your partner, as your friend and soulmate... and if you want closure from this trauma.. you need to help yourself.. as you were a victim of a horrible crime and you were a helpless child at the time.. now you are however a married woman and not just for the sake of sex.. but first and foremost for you.. to close this chapter in your life, which in your subconscious is still wide open, and to not lose your husband over a horrible injustice that was done to you as a child.. you should look in the yellow pages, or on the computer under google and look for rape crisis centres or support groups for women and girls who experienced rape or sexual abuse.. it does not matter that now you are many years older.. this is a trauma which if not being talked about with a councellor can ruin a girls or a womans life..in the yellow pages or at google.. look for support groups for women and girls who were the victim of sexual abuse or rape.. they get together in groups and have a female councellor. They talk about what happened and their age range is wide open.. because one can become a victim of rape or sexual abuse at any age.. You will find support from the other women there.. and the councellor will help all of you.. You will hear stories of others who were victims and you have to tell your own story.. Remeber you were the victim... also it may be a good idea if you and your husband after you have been to such a support group, seek marriage councelling.. .don't let what happened to you when you were a child ruin your marriage. it will do that if you can't have a normal marital relationship with your husband....and for your sake more than anytthing... because I personally talked to the widower of a woman who was raped at age 17 .. she never told.. but she suffered from depression as a result of the rape.. and she attempted 21 failed suicide attempts.. at age 39, she jumped off a bridge near where I live in Canada into the icy water below.. the cold temperatures immediately drowned her.. and her body was only found after the snow melted..in April.. this happened in 2003.. and her name was a real one.. a victim of rape.. Sylvie Roi.. who committed suicide in March of 2003.. ,22 years after the rape...Two months before her 40th birthday... Please seek help.. even now.. I don't want you to become another Sylvie Roi and I would wish for closure for yourself and to be able to save your marriage and also go to marriage councelling with your husband.. xxx (The only person she told was her husband.. and when she met him she was 27.. so 10 years after this had happened to her but she never told her parents, she never went to councelling... she was suicidal but at least for 10 years until she married and had told her husband, nobody knew why she was depressed and why she made attempts to commit suicide.. she just played Russian Roulette with her life.. she left it up to a higher power if she would ''live'' or not'' she took to getting on a high building and then make her way downwards by jumping from balcony to balcony.. she made it all the way down.. had she failed she would have seen that as ''this was meant to be'' ....the day she did kill herself she told nothing to her husband. she went as usual out of the house.. acted as always, but did not return.. and she was seen on the bridge when she had crossed the balustrade and was facing.. the street with her back to the water.. a policeman who knew her by sight. and who somehow knew her name, called out to her.. at that moment she looked at him and let go of the railing.. and plunged backwards in the still ice covered waters of the Ottawa River here in Canada.. and the icy cold is what killed her.. it numbed her right away..made it impossible for this otherwise excellent swimmer to move.. so she was heard to give a short scream and one moan.. and when the policeman looked she was already under water so he told her family.. her husband right away that she was dead.. as there was no chance. They searched the river for weeks but it is normal that when temperatures of the water are extremely low.. it can take up to 5 weeks which it did.. In summer on a warm day.. 2 days maximum for a body to come to the surface again.. if it's not tangled up somewhere... I don't believe you would do something like this.. but it definitely is still on your mind and it shows that it is a big deal.. because it's normal under the circumstances that you act this way toward physical intimacy... because of what had happened so long back in the past.. and I don't wish for you and your husband to lose this love and the marriage you both have. I would wish for you to want to seek councelling in a support group for the sake of being able to learn to have normal feelings about a ''man/woman'' relationship again.. and that involves also to 50 % to be able to be comfortable to have physical closeness and intimacy with a partner one otherwise loves...xxIf you were sexually molested as a child could this ruin your sexual relationship with your husband?
To a lot of molestation victims, there is an array of issues to confront. First, boundaries can become skewed. You see the signs that the typical abuse victim is being largely accepted in society with terms like ';friends with benefits.'; With skewed boundaries, yes, sex becomes meaningless, and to most women who go through this, they see sex as a means to an end, a meaningless tool that can get them what they want. Normally a man or woman with this history will have lots of sexual partners because sex is a meaningless tool, but those who do not engage in countless meaningless encounters have actually won a battle in that they have maintained a boundary more towards normalcy, not opening themselves up to disease and strained relationships.
The best advice: great sex begins in the mind. You may have very well numbed yourself to emotionality related to sex so that you don't have to confront the emotions of pain and betrayal that can go with just such an experience. Try confronting the emotions, releasing them without reliving the incident, and see if -- well, you married the guy, so you have to have some trust in him -- see if you can't, after dealing with these things, just open up and let all your passions out. The greatest sex is passionate, loving sex where you feel you can be free. Look at ways to ease into this, and you'll find the best sex is the sex you make great. And communicate with him about what you need and want, if that's possible. I wish you all the luck and healing I can send you, and I hope you do well.
Yes. That one incident could have affected you like that. For some reason sexual molestation affects people differently depending on the extent to which you were violated.
I was sexually molested as a youth and during my teenage years i was extremely promiscuous. Not until i sought professional help for my actions did i began to understand that sexually abuse as a child had impacted my actions.
On the other hand my bff was abuse by her step father as a child and she has an extremely negative attitude towards sex, similar to what you describe.
i think maybe you should talk to a professional about this.
I believe it can. Sex and motherhood are so closely intertwined that to have that tainted and dirtied at such a young age will effect your libido.That is why child molestation is such a heinous crime because it leaves the child lost, lonely and fearful of anything connected to sex.I am truly sorry this happened to you. Maybe if you saw a counselor they could help you work it out.
God bless you and help you through this.
Remember one thing...they can touch your body, but that can't get to the REAL YOU. They can't touch your heart and soul, and just refuse to let it touch your mind. It's over and past. Try trusting your husband and try showing your love by enjoying sex a little more. Just start, and it will come along. Try teaching him what makes you feel good. Try experimently with yourself (no, there's nothing wrong with that - it's your body and you own it). If you can't talk to him, write a journal and then show it to him; or a letter. Is he taking plenty of time to get you aroused? If not, tell him so. I felt the same way until I met someone when I was 59!!! Now, finally, it's great. But I had to have someone who truly loved me and wanted to make me enjoy it as much as he does.
yes sweetheart it did.
but once you relize that. you can fix it.
your flower is what made your husband fall in love with you, he saw that your flower was the best flower in the whole world and he loves it and respects it, he will die for it, and he lives for it.
he might not tell you that,but that is how he feels about it.
Yes, it could have.
Doesn't necessarily mean that it will, though. I was molested for several months in third grade, and I don't see any lasting effects from that.
Must just depend on the person and the situation.
i think that it can....i am dealing with the same thing where i was molested as a kid and now my sexual relationship with my partner is ruining our relationship.
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it definitely can
Well both my nephews Michael Seater and Michael Cera were rapped. They turned out ok I guess.
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